Here is Gone
by GorgeousGreyMatter
Summary: Tommy's been missing for four years. On Jude's twenty first birthday, he comes back and changes her world forever.
1. The Day the Music Died

**Here Is Gone- Chapter One: The Day the Music Died**

**AN: **This is going to be a relatively short story, about three to four chapters. This first one is going to be kind of short because it's more of a teaser than anything else. It's the night of Jude's 21st birthday so I think Tommy is about 28 or 29, and I don't own any Instant Star stuff. So no suing. By the way, the italics stuff is from Buddy Holly's autopsy report.

"I am no solution  
To the sound of this pollution in me, yeah  
And I was not the answer  
So forget you ever thought it was me, yeah"-Here is Gone by The Goo Goo Dolls

It'd been four years since she'd seen him, since he walked out on her that night. And she hadn't looked back since. She didn't cry like she thought she would've. Maybe she was just all out of tears for him. She thought it'd be agonizing, maybe even a little ironic. A fall from grace. A bit more "The day the music died." But it wasn't. Not at all.

She just quit caring. Jude Harrison became the quintessential ice queen. She kept making her albums long after he had gone. She shot to the top of the charts; hell…she was the chart. She sold more records then she ever had before. She went platinum twice before she even hit twenty.

And she did it all without Little Tommy Q.

She was harder now. No longer the bubbly teenager she once was, she bore the weight of impending adulthood like a battle scar. In Jude's eyes, her twenty-first birthday wasn't really going to be a celebration of her birth. It was more a celebration of the fact that she'd made it there alive. Of course there would be a party, wasn't there always? Nothing was too good for "His Jude" Darius would say. And Jude would smile. A smile that implied "Of course nothing is too good for the artist that literally put G-Major on the map. The artist that made you even more filthy, stinking rich than you already were. But let's not make things personal. It's all about the music, right?"

Whatever happened to "The Day the Music Died?"

"Omigod Jude, I like so totally found the most awesome dress for your party. Can't you just picture it?..." E.J. rattled on. Jude wondered if it was possible for someone who talked so much to actually say so little…

"Yeah that's totally awesome…"

_The body of Charles H. Holley was clothed in an outer jacket of yellow leather-like material in which 4 seams in the back were split almost full length. The skull was split medially in the forehead and this extended into the vertex region._

"I know! Right? Up on the stage all the lights hitting you…singing "Time to Be Your Twenty-One"…which is like, so totally apropos, since you're finally 21!" E.J. squealed. Jude felt sick.

_Approximately half the brain tissue was absent. There was bleeding from both ears, and the face showed multiple lacerations._

"Omigod. You're not getting sick are you? Jude! No way. You cannot get sick. Do you how much bad P.R. that would be? Hellloooooooo…it's my job to make you look awesome, Jude and you're not making it very easy…"

_The consistency of the chest was soft due to extensive crushing injury to the bony structure. The left forearm was factured 1/3 the way up from the wrist and the right elbow was fractured. Both thighs and legs showed multiple factures._

Where's a plane crash when you needed one?

_Fingerprints were taken of the deceased for purposes of identification_

Lights. Camera. Action.

"Happy Birthday, Jude!"

The party was a blur. Ice fountains that spurted champagne, flashing cameras, the persistent thump thump thump of rave music.

"Omigod. I can't believe you're finally 21!"

That's funny, because she couldn't either.

"Sing, Jude! Sing! Sing! You have to sing!"

So she did.

"You never lied to me not once; it's not your fault that I can't trust…"

Stop. Pause. Rewind. She blinked. A flash of messy brown hair and deep blue eyes. And it was gone.

Not really there at all, she decided. So she finished the song, which was like, so totally apropos. Everyone cheered, and danced, and got completely and utterly trashed.

A party is a party is a party, right?

Jude felt sick.

Home at last. It was below freezing outside, and all Jude wanted to do was make herself some tea and curl up on her futon. Because frankly, she felt like shit. Walking up the steps to her tiny condominium, she fumbled for her keys, only to find that the door was already unlocked.

"Great. Just great. That was fucking dumb…" Jude muttered as slammed the door behind her.

"No kidding," A male voice answered from inside the living room. Oh my god. Someone had broken into her house…wait. She knew that voice. And sure enough, when followed the source of the noise, there he was.

Little Tommy Q, back from the dead with that cocky smile and those damn blue-bell eyes…

Jude tried to speak but no words came out.

Tommy chuckled.

Jude felt sick.

"You look like you've seen a ghost…."


	2. Mr Blue

**Chapter Two: Mr. Blue**

"That's the way it goes some days

A fever comes at you without a warning

And I can see it in your face

You've been waiting to break since you woke up this morning"

-Mr. Blue by Catherine Feeny

"You look like you've seen a ghost." Jude blinked and tried to speak, but no words formed. It was like split brain phenomenon. She could think it but her mouth couldn't form the sounds.

Pause. Rewind. Mute.

Maybe he was just a dream, or a result of way too much champagne. Yes, that must be it. Well, only one way to find out…

"Ow."

"Jude, why the hell are you pinching yourself?"

She stuttered. "I-I was hoping you might be a hallucination."

Tommy laughed. When he did, it was like coming home, and being kicked in the face at the same time. She pinched herself again. You know, just to make sure.

"You broke into my house…" Jude started slowly, more of a question than an accusation.

Tommy shook his head. "No I didn't. The door was unlocked."

"…You need to leave. Now."

"But I needed to talk to you. I needed to see you…"

"Oh. After four years, you just decided to drop in and say hello? Four fucking years! God, Tommy. Can't you just leave me the fuck alone?"

"Jude…"

"No! Stop talking to me like that."

"Like what?"

"Like we're friends. We're not friends, Tommy."

"We could be." No, not those damned eyes again.

"I can't…I can't deal with this right now. How the hell did you know where I live anyway? Have you been spying on me?"

"No, I used the phonebook."

"…just get out."

"Jude, please. Just shut up for one—"He tried to step closer, which only prompted Jude to back away. She grabbed the door handle and flung it open. Her throat felt raw, and her eyes were burning. Her heart was pounding so loud she couldn't even hear herself think.

She couldn't breathe and he was only making it worse.

"Please." Jude gasped. She was on the verge of hyperventilating. "Get-"

Tommy grabbed her wrist. "Jude you have to calm down—"

"Don't you fucking touch me!" Her eyes grew wild and she frantically wrenched her arm from his grasp.

"Jude…please…"

"No, Tommy! You don't get to do this!"

"Jude, will you just listen for one fucking minute?"

"NO." She shoved him outside onto the patio. He tried to stop her, but all he got for his efforts was a face full of door.

"Damnit!" Tommy pounded a fist against the wood. "Jude. Jude, I'm not leaving until you talk to me…"

"Jesus Christ, will you just leave me alone!? "

Jude slid to the floor, cradling her head in her hands. She hadn't even noticed she'd been crying until she felt the wetness of her tears as she wiped her eyes.

"Okay…calm down. Just calm down, go do something else. And he'll leave." Jude muttered into her hands. She was shivering now, realizing she was still in her dress and high heels from the party.

"First…I need to get out of these clothes…" She pulled herself up off the floor and dragged herself to the bathroom, giving a last wayward glance towards the door and what lay behind it. Kicking off her heels, she stepped out of her dress, simply leaving it in a ring of gold fabric on the floor. Turning the shower on as hot as she could stand it, she stepped in and closed her eyes, letting the water beat the tension out of her tired body. She sighed in relief.

"God…this sucks."

Out on the patio, snow was starting to flurry and settle on the ground. Tommy was sitting down now, with his back against the door.

"God…this sucks."

* * *

After changing into sweatpants and a t-shirt, Jude felt a little better. Tiptoeing to the window, she peered out to see if he was still there. And sure enough, shivering on her front porch, was Tommy. 

"Damnit." Jude swore softly, banging her head against the glass.

"Jude?" Tommy caught a glimpse of chocolate-colored curls out of the corner of his eye.

"Ow." Shit, that was stupid. Rubbing her forehead, she grabbed the cordless phone off the kitchen counter and sunk to floor. She dialed the number, and waited, listening to the ring on the other line.

Finally. "…hullo?" A low voice grumbled on the other line.

"Jamie?"

"Jude? It's like 3 in the morning, why the hell are you calling me?"

"He's back."

"Who's back? And why are we whispering?"

"Tommy. He's back. And he's out on my front porch and he won't go away."

"Jude, it's like negative ten degrees outside, how long has he been out there?"

"I don't know…like an hour?"

"Jesus Jude, there's a snowstorm blowing in tonight. I love you, but I am not helping you scrape frozen producer parts off your patio…our love does not run that deep."

"Ha-ha, very funny. I am NOT letting him inside…"

"I bet I could get rid of him for you!" A gruff yet distinctly feminine voice yelled into the phone.

"Is that Patsy? That sounds like a good idea… put her on the phone..."

"No, Jude. You are not having Patsy kill Tommy. No. Bad idea. I am not bailing anyone out of jail tonight…"

""What am I supposed to do? He can't come in here! Christ, I feel like I'm trapped in my own house!"

"Is it snowing?"

"I don't know, maybe…"

"Check."

Jude looked outside to see a thick blanket of snow falling steadily onto the ground.

"…yes."

"Well that settles it then, you have to let him in…"

"But-"

"No buts, Jude. Unless you want to deal with hiding a body tomorrow morning…which could prove difficult, since he's a pretty big guy, I mean I guess you could try burying hi—"

"Okay. Okay. I get your point…"

"Good night, Jude…"

"Yeah, yeah…whatever."

Jude hung up in a huff, slamming the phone into its holder. She grabbed a blanket of the futon, and wrenched the door open. Tommy, who happened to be leaning against the door right as she opening it, fell straight onto his back.

"Jude, what—"

"Shut up." She flung the blanket at him, turned around on her heels, stalked into her bedroom, and slammed the door shut with a resounding BANG that seemed to shake the entire house. He heard the click of a lock, and sighed.

Oh it was going to be a long night.

* * *

**Okay. Yay. Finally, we get the ball rolling. I think I'm actually going to make this a little longer. I don't think I can tell the story in just three chapters. Anyway, read, review, you know the drill :D**


	3. Things I Don't Understand

**Chapter Three: Things I Don't Understand**

****By the way, I was inspired by The Last Kiss to write this fic, so I give credit to Zach Braff, who is an excellent writer, actor, and director. Although, I wasn't too fond of his latest movie…you can't get much better than Garden State…

"How infinite is space, and who decides your fate

Why everything will dissolve into sand

How to avoid defeat, when truth and fiction meet

Why nothing ever turns out as you plan."- Things I Don't Understand by Coldplay

_You never lied to me not once; it's not your fault that I can't trust_

"_Come on Tommy, I think we both know what you want to say. That it was a mistake, right? A pity kiss. That you don't feel the way I do…" _

_Rewind. _

_It's in my past, it's in my path, and I can't go there_

_Pause._

"_Get it over with. Lie to me."_

_Making a mess out of this game, to see it all go up in flames_

"_It never happened."_

_So tired of being ruthless and reckless…_

_Fast-forward. Play._

Jude had been tossing and turning for hours. Her body ached and her cheeks burned. Her throat felt dry and swollen, so she got up for a drink of water, or at least she imagined she did. It went on like that for awhile, as she drifted somewhere between dreaming and being awake. Finally she jerked awake, feeling a sudden lurch in her stomach. The room began to spin.

Oh lord, she really _was_ going to be sick.

Throwing off her blankets, Jude cringed as her feverish skin, exposed to the cold night air, was racked with chills. She'd barely made it to the bathroom before emptying the contents of her stomach, her body bent over the toilet as if she were praying. She coughed and coughed until all that came up was a mixture of stomach acid and bile that stung her throat and made her eyes water. She didn't hear the squeak of the bathroom door opening or the footsteps that followed. She didn't realize he was there with her until she felt his a hand encircle her waist, the other holding back her hair, his warm breath surprisingly cool on the back of her neck.

Jude coughed again, and tried to pull away from him.

"Hey, hey. Easy…" Tommy held her firmly against him, the back of her head resting against his chest. He put his palm against her forehead.

"Jesus, Jude…you're burning up..." Gingerly, he gathered her into his arms, and carried her out of the bathroom, and into the bedroom. She moaned and thrashed a bit in protest, but he held her steadfast. She was much too exhausted to really put up a fight.

"I'll be right back…"

He returned a few moments later with a bottle of Tylenol, a glass of water, and a thermometer. Pouring some of the pills into his hand, he helped her sit up. She swallowed them, completely draining the full glass of water he had brought for her. Groaning and shivering, she fell backwards onto the bed.

"Open up." She complied. While he waited for the mercury to settle, he gently stroked her hair. Her eyelashes fluttered.

"103…shit you're hot." Jude tried to laugh but it came out as a cough. Tommy probably would have smiled at the double meaning if he weren't so worried about her. She was still shivering like mad.

He pulled the blankets up around her, and she curled up into a ball, trying to shield every inch of her clammy skin from the cold. Tommy sighed. She looked so fragile and vulnerable…so different from the new Jude. He couldn't just leave her there, so he lay down next to her, on top of the blankets, careful not to get too close. She didn't object.

"Tommy..." After nearly twenty minutes, she spoke, her voice barely a whisper.

His eyes opened, lazily. 'Mm…"

"This doesn't change anything…"

Tommy simply nodded. No arguing, no yelling. "Okay."

But he knew, from the look in her eyes and the sound of her voice, that nothing would be the same again.

**I'm not going to be able to update until later next week, so I thought I'd post this little scene to tide you guys over. Thanks so much for all the encouraging reviews!**


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